


You always take the sweetest rose and crush it

by weinsanedreamer



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9158320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weinsanedreamer/pseuds/weinsanedreamer
Summary: Nobody ever says it's easy. This whole parent thing, having a family and putting someone else's needs before your own. But Negan thinks that’s what love is all about. He wants to hold onto this feeling forever. Hopefully he hasn’t jinxed himself in the laws of the universe and tempted fate in the process.





	1. Chapter 1

 Judith is in the hospital on a regular basis due to complications with her heart. She was born with underdeveloped lungs making it difficult for her to breathe on her own. It hasn’t been easy trying to keep her in good health, the bills keep coming without end giving Rick anxiety. Negan keeps telling him to chill the fuck out, but the stress is slowly eating away at Rick when he has to go and blame himself for not being able to take care of his family.

 

Negan’s phone vibrates in his jacket pocket seeing the text sent from Rick.

 

_Thank you for doing this. Please give her all my love - Rick_

 

Negan just smiles to himself amused at Rick worrying about his little girl when he’s busy with work and has other responsibilities.

 

He pokes at the screen typing his reply.

 

_Aren’t I a fucking saint?_

 

The hospital lobby comes into view bustling with patients coming in and out. Life is fragile Negan realizes but it’s the beautiful small moments that make it count. Judith is by far the strongest little girl he's grown to know over the years. Her smile is contagious always trying to find a way to be positive even when the odds are against her.

 

“ Hey there little angel. How’s my favorite girl doing?” Judith lies in her small hospital bed propped against her favorite floral patterned pillow and blue blanket Rick must have brought from her bedroom. The house feels so empty now without her presence breaking the silence bringing joy to their lives.

 

“ Hi Daddy.” God Negan will never get over being called a dad. He’s always liked kids that’s why he teaches physical education at Carl’s high school. Most of the time they drive him insane but he does get a natural thrill from seeing their potential grow. Judith on the other hand has a rare quiet strength that easily outmatches the bravest soldier.

 

“ Sorry your dad couldn’t make it. Told me to tell you he loves you to the moon and back.”

 

“ That’s okay.” She sits up putting down her picture book _When you wish upon a Star_ all smiles despite obviously being in a lot of pain. The tube attached to her oxygen mask tangles when she changes positions Negan quickly undoing it so it doesn’t block the flow of her oxygen supply. Isn’t there a fucking nurse or someone responsible for checking up on their patients here? God you just can’t rely on anyone these days. Fan fucking tastic.

 

“ Guess what?”

 

“ What?” Negan scoots next to her so he’s huddled close beside her small frame surrounding her in his warmth. He hooks an arm over her shoulder grinning despite the gloomy atmosphere like she’s about to tell him all her secrets.  

 

“ Doctor Greene said the fluid in my lungs was going down. Maybe I’ll get to come home soon.” Her beautiful blue eyes are the portrait of pure innocence always seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

“ Ohh sweetheart that’s awesome but I don’t know if that’ll be a possibility just yet. You’re still not quite a hundred percent ready to get discharged. You have to go through all these tests just to get some doc’s approval to go outside. It sucks I know but it’ll get better. I promise.”

 Negan does his best to reassure her putting on a face to avoid discomfort. It just makes him feel worse. He smiles slightly pressing a kiss to her unnaturally pale fingers. She feels cold to the touch.


	2. Chapter 2

“ How was she? Did the doctor report any changes in her condition? Is she warm enough? Does she need anything?”

Negan puts a hand out cutting Rick off short mid sentence by the time he’s through the door and tossing his worn out black combat boots on the floor.

“ Jesus Rick one thing at a time.”

Rick studies him like there’s something he’s deliberately not telling him. Negan rolls his eyes always finding Rick in a panic now like he has to have control over every last detail or he’ll snap. He takes Rick aside rubbing his arms and pulling him in a tight hug.

“ She’s fine okay. I tucked her goodnight and everything. Asked the nurse to give her another blanket cuz she was shivering and trying to hold it in.”

Rick looks like he might cry or smile. Maybe both.

“Thank you. I appreciate that.” Rick reaches for the back of Negan's neck pulling him down for a kiss that leaves them both breathless. His stomach growls as they pull apart ruining the mood.

“Um..” Rick struggles to not come off too awkward. Negan gives him a look that tells him he already succeeded.

“ Did you even have anything to eat? You’re no use if you go and starve yourself Rick.”

“ Mmm I’m fine. There’s no need to go and make a big deal about it.” Rick lets out a yawn making his way to the bedroom. Negan follows him closely behind.

“ It _is_ a big fucking deal Rick. Because frankly I give a shit about you and when you don’t go taking care of yourself well that doesn’t sit well with me.” Rick isn’t listening to him taking off his watch and acting like he’s fine and Negan just talks too much.

“ Look I appreciate your concern but there’s no need to go and make the kitchen a mess. It’s already late as it is. I just want to go to sleep.” Rick is giving him this pleading look but Negan is having none of it.

“ Nope. Sorry that’s bullshit Rick don’t be such a masochist. Come on.” Negan takes his hands in his persuading him to play along.

Rick manages a strained smile despite Negan being his usual stubborn self. It’s how he shows he cares. It means a lot to Rick to have someone give a damn even when things are tough.

“ You’re not going to let this go are you?” Rick raises an eyebrow finding a reason to soften his smile and relax a little.

“ Like hell I am babe.”

Rick smiles more real this time leaning in for another kiss.


	3. Chapter 3

Negan is watching Rick eat making the setting a little awkward as he twirls his fork savoring every bite of spaghetti. It’s already well past midnight and they’re the only two still up. Carl is fast asleep exhausted from midterms wearing him to the bone. He’s already a senior in high school. Rick still can’t believe that.

“ Why don’t you do something?” The silence is broken by Rick’s sudden question he brings up out of nowhere.

“ What do you mean?” Negan folds his arms leaning back in his chair.

“ I don’t know is there something you wanted to do?”

“ What are you getting at?”

“ You’re good at so many things you could do anything you wanted to. You’re good at everything that you do. Isn’t there something else you want to do?”

“ Than what? Than be your husband? To be a part of your family? You think I don’t want that?”

“ I didn’t mean that.” Their conversation takes a tense turn Rick stabbing his dinner more than is necessary.

“ You’re not making any damn sense Rick. What do you want me to do? What is it in your dream scenario me doing what you say I’m good at. What would that be huh?”

“ I-I don’t know you’re just so good at so many things. You have such capacity and passion in everything you do. You could be anything but instead you choose to just stick it out with me and my dying daughter. I can’t imagine that’s a life anyone would want.”

“ Like what? ” Negan gestures with his hand urging Rick to elaborate.

“ Well you’re good with your students I know that. You’re strict with them but for a good reason. You like to see them grow into something bigger than themselves. I think..I think your job is holding you back. You could be so much more than just a gym teacher.” Rick grows quiet focusing on his chardonnay. He’s afraid to look at Negan fearing he’s said too much. Tears are prickling his eyes that he quickly rubs away.

“ Really Rick? Is that how you see me? That I’m too good for you? Is that what this is all about?”

“ Maybe.” Rick admits shrugging his shoulders.

Rick quickly finishes his meal getting up too fast to avoid further conversation. Negan isn’t pressing him which is not like him at all and it freaks him out.

He’s washing his dishes and as he’s standing by the sink he feels Negan hovering over him. Rick is nervous he doesn’t know what his partner is going to say or even do for that matter. He knows he would never hurt him intentionally but when he raises his voice or yells it’s hard not to be intimidated.

“ Look Rick I didn’t want to be someone’s husband alright? Didn’t want to be with anyone after Lucille passed away. After going in and out of therapy talking about my feelings and shit and not getting some goddamn miracle cure I didn’t think there was much worth living for. But then you happened.” 

Rick is trying hard not to break down pretending he’s made of stone.

“ I don’t want to do anything else. This is what I want to do. I work so I can do that. So I can provide for you. For Carl, for Judith. Why is that so hard for you to understand?” Rick steals a glance in Negan’s direction not sure how to respond.

He takes a breath shuddering from all the stress he’s been holding in all day and Negan holds him tight in a hug Rick just wants to melt in.

This is his safe place. When Negan is showing that sweet soft side that somehow makes his world a little less scary.

He cries and it feels so good like he’s taking a weight off and can finally breathe again without holding back.

“ I love you so much.” Rick turns burying himself in Negan’s leather jacket being comforted by the smell of cigarettes and his strong aftershave.

“ I look forward to holding you close in bed soon.” Negan lifts his face to his so he can kiss Rick’s forehead nice and slow.

“ Don’t go saying cheesy things like that. It doesn’t suit you.”

“ Oh I beg to differ darling. You say some pretty weird shit in bed yourself.”

Negan’s blunt honesty in calling things out as he sees it makes him blush furiously looking away for an instant so Negan can’t see just how much he’s gotten under his skin. At first he was feeling depressed but now he’s feeling painfully shy like a fourteen year girl who doesn’t know how to hide her feelings.

" Come on let's go to bed but not go to sleep." Negan flaunts a suggestive wink gesturing to the bedroom tugging at Rick's hand.

" You can be such an asshole. You know that?"

" Real cute babe. Always playing hard to get. But that's just how I like it."

Rick rolls his eyes feeling defeated when Negan just doesn't know when to quit.


End file.
